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That darker side in me (us)

Most of the time when you read my personal columns I want to make you feel good, give you insight, pick you up when you are feeling down. Today, I want to share something different.

Can we talk about the “D” word?


Yeah, that one. The one that we sweep under the rug all too often, at least I do.

Depression is something I don’t talk about much. A friend recently brought it to my attention they thought my life was amazing, I had no worries, was always positive, had anything I wanted. They wanted to know how could they have my attitude and how could they be more like me? Wow, who would ever want to do that?

That hit me, right in the feels.

Often, we hide how we truly feel inside behind a facade. We only share with others what we want them to see. This is the case 90% of the time. I always share positivity, I am always trying to be a cheerleader, a pusher for people to chase their dreams and go after what they want. That’s the Katy most people know.

Don’t get me wrong, that is me most of the time. But, there is another side. A darker side that isn’t talked about much.

Depression. There is that word again. I fight depression. There, I said it. No matter how hard I try, it is lurking around every corner.

It is so hard sometimes to be a positive person, it is so hard to get out of bed some days and it is even harder to share this with people.

But, this week, I have felt led to share my story, that depression happens to everyone, everyone is facing battles and most of the time, you don’t know it. I always laugh when I see this meme on Facebook that says, “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” It always makes me laugh, nervously sometimes, because I get it. We all walk around and can act like everything is wonderful, life is just full of rainbows, butterflies and blah, blah, blah. I don’t care who you are, you are dealing with something. Deep down, there is a sliver (at least), of you that is fighting demons. Some more than others.

I want to tell you, you aren’t alone. Don’t ever think you are facing the darkness all by yourself because, trust me, so many are right along there with you, struggling just like you, day in and day out. Don’t be ashamed if you are struggling, don’t be embarrassed.

As hard as it was to write this and share it, I am doing it because I want you to know you aren’t alone. Everyone has problems; you have no idea what the next person is dealing with.

So, chin up. If you are down, that’s OK, but don’t stay there. Don’t fall so deep into the black abyss that you can’t get out and you don’t think you have any options. You do.

Talk to someone.

Don’t be ashamed.

Never give up on this life, no matter how hard it gets and no matter how tired you get trying, keep your head above water. People love you, whether you believe it or not. Someone out there looks up to you, someone admires you and your traits and what you bring to the table. You have no idea the influence you have on peoples’ lives.

Remember, behind every smiling face, every happy-go-lucky Facebook post on that social media, there is something else that someone might be hiding. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a little bit more credit for fighting through this crazy ride we call life.

Kate Thurston is a Connersville News-Examiner reporter. Contact her at kthurston@newsexaminer.com or 765-825-0588 ext. 222.