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Photo flops

Was it my ego, laziness, or just a deceptive nature? I had resisted this action for several years, but it was finally time: I decided to update my Facebook picture. I also updated my bio pictures on the WISH-TV website. These were not photos of who Dick Wolfsie is; these were photos of who Dick Wolfsie was.

In one replaced photo, I was standing in front of Market Square Arena. In another I was holding my dog, Barney (who has been gone since 2004), and there was one of me with the late Mayor Hudnut at an Indians game at Bush Stadium. I looked great back in the ’90s. (Author’s note: that would be the 1990s, not the 1890s. 

The act of updating my photos caused quite a stir in cyberspace. Friends and classmates I had not heard from in years felt compelled to check with me, asking if I was well. “You looked great for 20 years on Facebook. Not anymore,” said my old buddy Phil. “I hope it’s nothing serious.” 

Some of the people who thought I was in failing health also started reminiscing about our time back in high school, like …

“Dick, you used to bounce your leg up and down when you sat at your desk. It drove the teachers crazy. Well, I picked up that habit from sitting next to you for three years. I still do it. Thanks a lot. By the way, do you still lose stuff all the time?”

“Dick, remember that time when you reported your car stolen from the student parking lot, but later you realized that your mother had driven you to school that day? Are you still a space cadet?”

Finally, from an old flame, Carol: “You were always so adorable. What happened? Do you still whistle all the time? Like, how annoying was that on a date? I’m assuming you also stopped shaking your leg. Are you still scatterbrained?”

I asked my wife if these memories of me were accurate. “Yes, you still whistle,” said Mary Ellen. “You’ve done it our entire marriage. You do it when we’re in the car and when you’re in the shower. You even whistle in the morning when you are working. Other than a Disney dwarf, who does that?”

And, yes, you also bounce your leg when you watch TV, when you eat meals and when you read the paper. Sometimes I just want to go into the garage, get some duct tape, and secure your leg to the chair.”

“OK, but am I still spacey?”

“Let’s see … in the last month, you found your cell phone in the neighbor’s garage – twice, you found your car keys in the cat food bag and just last night you found your appointment book in the wash.”

“Give me some credit here, Mary Ellen. There was a time I couldn’t find anything.”

But back to the new Facebook photo. I got so many emails asking, “Are you OK?” that I have already changed it to a new close-up of me outside the RCA Dome where I am a lot younger. As you know, the RCA Dome grew old, so they decided to tear it down and start over.

I’m seriously considering that option for myself.

Dick Wolfsie is an Indianapolis TV personality.